Aussie Wren

Sizzling Sydney

by wrensrambles@gmail.com

This time last week we were in Sydney

We were there to celebrate, live it up and relax!

The Good:

It was an interesting weekend, to say the least.

First stop was a return to the hotel where a year ago

I saw the naked man on the balcony.

Do you remember the Adventure before Dementia post?!

I haven’t forgotten:

‘Fifty-something, mother of three,

just released after twenty plus years of juvenile detention,

caught up in Sydney sex pest ring.’

So the usual thing happens, we get up at 4 am take the early flight to Sydney and I’m standing at the hotel check-in bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and early. Without my trump card of a husband (that sounds a bit rude) but literally doors open for these guys who travel so much, they have extra wallets for all the various loyalty hotel cards…

So it’s little old me, and the receptionist is telling me my room won’t be ready for another five hours. I’m wondering whether to pull the

‘I’m in the top 1% of all Trip Advisor reviewers’

or the

‘Do you want to hear my naked man on your balcony story
from last time you made me wait for my room…?’

When as if by magic, neither is necessary, and the early check-in is offered.

The random:

So we’re in Sydney for a flash corporate event,
or so, I was lead to believe.

Admittedly the invitation creates confusion.
It says dinner suits, is that Aussie for dinner jackets or lounge suits?
We ask around no-one knows.
If in doubt resort to Google!
Google indicates a DJ and bow tie is the way to go…

Rats! I’m not convinced my last years Christmas party frock will do.
A quick Sydney shopping trip and a new black David Lawrence frock and shoes is purchased. Here is the dress; the exact same frock and shoes
and not the exact same body!

In fact, full disclosure here, no-where near the exact same body…
That’s a model, in case you were wondering!
But I’m good to go.

Photo credit; David Lawrence website

The Fun:

Well, I’m good to go in a taxi, I can’t walk too far in these shoes.

It is a POSH event, we’re being wined and dined in harbourside opulence.

We arrive to find most of the other guests have interpreted the dress code as a suit and a summer frock. So I’m done up like a dog’s dinner and Mr Wren looks a right pork chop in his dashing dinner jacket and bow tie. Breath and smile, breath and smile… I say!

We’re here to celebrate a significant birthday and merger of an Aussie and Indian company. So someone in purchasing obviously decided it would be a nice gesture and great link to the parent company to bring in some Bollywood dancers.

Outcome four scantily clad, tattooed, rather raunchy
and nothing the least bit classical Indian about them.
Honesty as they started gyrating their way amongst the tables
you can almost hear HR going “oh no!”

‘Hmmmmm’ I say to the nice guy next to me who was a partner in a law firm.
‘This wouldn’t go down too well in our not-for-profit sector,
how would it go down at your place of work?’
‘It wouldn’t’ he said.

I mean how on earth could anyone think this was an appropriate way to spice up the office party? What’s wrong with a chicken tikka and some nan bread?