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Do you aspire to be an Expat in Thailand?
Could you live abroad, survive and thrive in a new community crossing cultures? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be immersed in a diverse community that is multi-lingual, multi-dimensional, and multi-cultural?
No, I never did either, I just ended up living this Expat life in Thailand!
However, I am a firm believer post-Covid that many people will be making a conscious choice to change things up a bit. Maybe, just maybe, you could Wish it, Dream it, Do it?!
Join me Jenny, a long-term Expat with 30 years of cross-cultural living experience, together with insights and experiences of other global expats. Together we answer a month’s worth of prompts as raised through the annual #Mayonthemove IG challenge.
#Mayonthemove challenge
The IG challenge #mayonthemove introduced me to other BadASS Expats.
Meet Claire from @mytheoryonblooming: ‘I’m a badASS (Accompanying Supportive Spouse) who loves the adventure and challenge of living outside of my comfort zone’.
I’d never thought of myself as a BadASS and I love it, thanks, Claire!
Exploring Pai Grand Canyon on an extreme day of poor air quality. Expat life here is not all about swimming in crystal clear waters on gorgeous beaches!
The Term Expatriate
An Expat is someone who is temporarily or permanently resides in a country other than that of the person’s upbringing.
When you get chatting to other expats even the question of upbringing gets complicated. Some of us had childhoods impacted by more than one culture, or have adopted citizenships of countries as we have travelled the world. It seems less and less common these days to meet a new expat for whom this is their first-time experience leaving the homeland to live abroad.
One of the hardest questions I get asked in Thailand is where do you come from? I always want to say Bangkok but know they are expecting somewhere else!
BEST EXPAT ADVICE
The best piece of advice I was ever given was ‘never to act like an expat.‘ Always act as if you are here forever, do not self limit yourself to that notion of temporary.
This is my life on a frequent basis, trying to figure out what is what!
Expat, local contracts, or global nomads
In today’s world of global jobs, traditional expat contracts are harder to come by. More and more foreign employees are being relocated onto local terms and conditions.
Not only do we not get the super-duper expat remuneration deals of yesteryear, with home-leave package and flights home, what it does do, is shift attitudes.
There is no job back in our home country. On local contracts, we live, work, and pay tax in Thailand. We are localised.
The third option is the global nomad route – Thailand has always been popular for this, Chiang Mai, Phuket. Perhaps this could work for you? Do you have a job working from home? Can you cope with working and living in different time zones?
1. Back Story
Hello, G’day, Bonjour, Ni Hao & Sawadee-ka from Thailand the Land of Smiles.
Our Family
I’m a Brit and an Aussie who has spent the last 30 years as an Expat making a mess of friends’ address books with our frequent moves. Our three kids have been educated in French in Belgium, in Mandarin in Hong Kong, at an American International School in Brussels, at an Indian boarding school in the foothills of the Himalayas. Not to mention studying genocide in Rwanda, apartheid in South Africa, or on a business placement in Chile. They’ve attended New York University, Sussex University, UK, along with Melbourne and Monash Universities in Australia. I guess you could call us a global family!
We are currently empty nesters based in Thailand, having moved here in 2017.
The ‘Job’
With a husband with a global role, working for a European company, and kids scattered across Europe and Australia, we were one way or another, always traveling until Covid-19 hit. 2020 and most of 2021 saw us grounded in Thailand.
Little Wandering Wren
My life as a travel writer and blogger is mobile. Covid did interrupt international travel, but Thai domestic travel was a bonus.
In 2020 I set myself a goal of 100 Thailand hotel staycations in support of domestic travel. We have been based in Bangkok but in 2021 we moved to work from the beach in Phuket.
For more on my back story please see the comments section here
Photo credit: Richard Barrow
2. Roots
Do you have roots in a particular place, or not? Are roots important?
Or is it better to have wings?
I wish I could come up with a more high flaunting expression for ‘? ??, ????? ? ??’ but that sums up my feelings on my roots.
?? ????? ??? ?????? ????? ??????????; ??????, ???? ??? ?????????, they go deep to a point, but I am easy to uproot! I simply can’t afford to get too attached otherwise moving on is too painful.
Call it my wanderlust, or my RAF service upbringing, or maybe, if I go back far enough in my family history perhaps I will find I’m purebred ‘gypsy’? But I certainly have found to thrive in this lifestyle, having wings is more important than roots.
But be aware this can create complications when you start to consider retirement options and find yourself with family spread across the globe.
‟You can have more than one home. You can carry your roots with you, and decide where they grow.” – Henning Mankell. Thanks to ourexpatfamily_lives
3. Mates and Mentors
Mates:
The beauty, and also the maybe the terror, of living overseas is to arrive jet-fresh into a new country. A diverse, social, cultural, and politically different environment awaits. Having friends with experience of local ways can help you assimilate.
In normal, non-pandemic times, the expat communities of all the non-English speaking countries we’ve enjoyed, have offered many opportunities to make friends. However, be aware as Michelle from Uprooted Lifestyle discusses here:
Making new friends as an adult is like dating all over again except, somehow, even more, awkward.
FINDING YOUR TRIBE
Here in Thailand as an Expat there are many groups, clubs, meetups, etc that can be joined. A full list of women’s clubs in Thailand can be found here.
I have really enjoyed:
British Women’s Group: The ‘BWG’ has been providing a social network for expatriate ladies for more than 50 years in Bangkok.
American Women’s Club of Thailand: located in Bangkok is a nonpolitical, nonprofit group organized to promote friendship in the American community and
Artists of the Bangkok Community: A weekly meet-up of artists who draw, paint and lunch together in Sukhumvit.
Phuket International Women’s Clubs Friends with purpose, connecting international women from over 30 countries.
Facebook groups such as the Bangkok & Phuket Women’s Collective are a useful source of everything!
Mentors:
In Thailand, I have been fortunate to have the wise wisdom of a couple of long-stay expat friends. If ever I’m upset (it’s usually to do with Thai bureaucracy!) I seek their advice and they explain the context.
A favourite expression is Thai’s don’t think like that! At the end of the day, the gentle reminders that This is Thailand (TiT as it’s locally known) and I’m a guest in a far-off land, help me reconcile any disappointment. Everyone needs a mentor for sure.
In my post, I share examples of how village elders are used by Thailand Village Academy as mentors to share the knowledge and crafts of local village traditions. You can find more here
4. Language
What’s your biggest expat guilt? Mine’s language. I have become THAT person. The one who lives in an international bubble and rarely speaks a word of Dutch. So says Sarah @sarahbringhurstfamilia
Yep, I’m sorry to say Sarah that’s me too!
THE EXCUSES
I have already mentioned we are not on an Expat package, the ones that come with language lessons like we had on offer in Belgium and Hong Kong. Add in a massive travel schedule which meant in four years I never had a 6 week continuous period in Thailand. By the time we were Covid grounded it was not a priority I had learned to get by with my few Thai taxi phrases and my Nid-noi (little) Thai. See I told you I have all the excuses. Don’t be like me!
BEST EXPAT ADVICE
Learn the language, plunge straight in on arrival, do not even think about it! You don’t need Thai to live here, but you will benefit from having it… and you will get better deals in shops and restaurants! Plus my friends who have all been to language school have all made the best friends at classes!
LEARNING THAI LANGUAGE
Is Thai hard to learn? Yes. ‘The Foreign Service Institute categorizes languages based on how difficult they are for a native English speaker to learn. There are 5 categories, the higher the number the more difficult it is. Thai is classified as a category 4 language.‘ For more see Ben Kenyon’s How to learn Thai fast
LINGUISTIC ABILITY or LINGUISTIC AGILITY?
When Sara from sarabetweencultures left a comment on my post about how she loved my linguistic agility I was chuffed. Whilst I am disappointed in my lack of linguistic ability I am chuffed with my linguistic ability!
And just remember as Claire from My Theory of blooming says AN ACCENT IS A SIGN OF BRAVERY.
5. Moving
A change of place
There have been lots of moving drama stories if you check out the Instagram #mayonthemove2021 you can read a variety of different moving stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly!
This was our packing day leaving Australia where the truck broke down blocking the street for days oh and the removal company decided to change the packing day without telling us!
The emotional impact
Whilst some talked about the physical joys or otherwise of moving, others talked of the emotional detachment and some highlighted the limbo land when you are between moves. With an international move, you pack everything up not to see it again for two to three months. On arrival, you are thrown into a new world, where often you know no one and you start rebuilding your lives. making friends, finding things to do…
It was quite a culture shock moving from this quiet Aussie beach area to downtown Bangkok!
A move to Thailand
Every country has its own requirements, finding a good removal company who regularly knows any issues is such a godsend! Ask around!
General Tips:
- Join Expat Facebook pages at the arrival destination to find who is actually providing great service on arrival. That is the most important part of any move, on leaving you have the support of friends and family on arrival you may not even know where to get a coffee!
- Feed and water the removalists! Seriously make friends with the removalists a coffee and a biscuit goes a long way to them helping you in all aspects of the move
- On arrival emergency box – TV remotes, keys, anything that you can not afford to lose goes in this box – make a note of which box it can be found in!
- Unpacking your emotions box – I loved this idea from@sarabetweencultures which talks about the need at some part after your arrival you need to need to unpack your emotions “Then one day, after a couple of months, when the thrill and excitement of the new destination has faded, I find myself in front of a box I haven’t realize I had left behind unpacked…”
Electronic & Sporting Good
In our move to Thailand, there were discussions about possible import taxes on electrical goods, and sporting goods, which in the end all our fans, golf clubs, tennis racquets and the like which seemed to be of concern were covered under personal effects and no tax was required. See more discussion on Thaivisa forum here
Antiques & artwork
Be careful of bringing antiques & artwork because what you also need to know are the leaving issues and the paperwork required. The government places particular reverence on all images of the Buddha. As a result, it strictly prohibits the export of any and all Buddha images without written permission or a licence to do so.
Alcohol
and there is always the alcohol issue! Do we take some supplies and pay import duty and risk poor storage, or not? We always talk about it and never do, but wine is expensive in Thailand so we always maximise our carry-on duty-free allowance.
Every reputable moving company will issue you with their own guidelines and destination guide
Further reading:
- SanteFe’s Avoiding common moving mistakes
- Ten essentials for moving to Thailand
- Asian Tigers Destination Guide to Thailand
- GOV UK’s Living in Thailand
6. Generations
We all have generations that have gone before us, and many have generations going after us. In what ways are our experiences the same as or different from theirs? What have we inherited, and what are we passing on? Are we striving for balance between the expectations of different generations?
I feel lucky that although I am not a Third Culture Kid the generations before me were used to moving overseas for their jobs. I first went overseas age 2 years old with my parents to Singapore and later we moved to Belgium where my Grandfather had been posted, years earlier.
7. Tradition
Cecille @CecillePopp: I realize that the most valuable aspect of tradition is the way it grounds and roots me and my children, and the way it connects us to each other and to family near and far, present, past, and future.
I realised when it came to writing this that our family traditions have been diluted by our global life. It’s simply not practical you need to adapt or face the fear of missing out whilst abroad. As anyone in Bangkok trying to find chestnut stuffing for a Christmas turkey can confer!
Or is it, to adapt to the new cultures we have chosen not to hang on perniciously to the old ways when they would never live up to the expectations of what used to be?
Maybe our children have suffered, in this? We have not handed down from generation to generation, family celebrations, and rituals that can not be missed. Or maybe we helped them ease into the new ways? Their lives enriched by celebrating whatever could be found, where ever we were living… for more on this see my IG post here
If you like to celebrate new Festivals and create new family traditions there are a couple of festivals in Thailand that we absolutely love:
Loy Krathong – the prettiest tradition where you float a Krathong of flowers and incense on any waterway or sea you can find. The Loy Krathong lanterns are made of elaborate designs and once lit you pay your respects to the Water Goddess.
Songkran – Thai New Year plan to get soaking wet! Held in April each year it’s a time when Thais return how to the Provinces and a giant water fight celebration occurs. Go prepared with a water gun, bucket, hose, and whatever weapons of water destruction you can find. For the past two years, Songkran has been canceled when it finally returns watch out world!
See 17 Thailand Festivals, cultures, and Traditions and how to experience them
8. Plot Twist
Every Expat life has plot twists or unexpected happenings you can check out more on Instagram #mayonthemove2021
As Mariam from And Then We Moved To tells ‘Each plot twist, turned the course of our expat lives. I always found strength in one of my favorite quotes from Rumi:
“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. How do you know that the side you are used to, is better than the one to come?”
Sometimes in unplanned and surprising events, you find true gold. The one thing you find in an expat life you need to have in your personality toolkit is flexibility, resilience, and a broad smile (even when you want to scream I want to go home!)
I wish I was better to set aside expectations and accept all the twists and turns as they come, but as you will see cultural expectations run deep!
Learning to be a Zen Wren
My biggest plot twists in Thailand seem to come as a result of TIT moments. Tit or This is Thailand is a hands up in the air exasperation of a logic that has different cultural roots than my British let’s have some rules, and then follow the rules, orderly approach to life.
In my world, you would never ride a bicycle without a helmet, let alone a motorbike, taking your two-year-old on board and undertaking a car at a roundabout. The tangled mass of cables in the street is another example that confronts my sense of order (remember my Service upbringing!)
In my old world, you would never insist that people present to a crowded immigration hall at the height of a pandemic, when the Government issues a do not travel stay home order. My old world would never allow one of the stairwells out of a building to be used as a storage area, someone would support that as inappropriate rather than a necessity when Covid brought a halt to building works.
My old world is a lot less Zen, and I spend a lot of energy trying to adopt a Zen Wren approach to life here in Thailand! I am a work in progress, and Covid frustrations seem to make it harder!
9. Community
Is community important? Where can you find it? Whether in real life, or online, in one place or many, what helps me to feel a sense of community, or how can you create it?
Carla MamiExpat: ‘Communities are always important but living abroad are vital because they ground us and help us to feel safe and find our place in the world ‘?.
10. Continuity
Carla MamiExpert: Continuity gives you roots but change gives you branches.
Little Wandering Wren: If ever there was a cohort of people across the world that was best trained, ready, and able to cope best with a global pandemic to wreck their lives and reek havoc in all aspects of everything they found to be important, it was the ?????!
As ?????? we have lived experience of uncertainty, ever-changing goalposts, and social isolation. We quickly learn to develop skills of ??????????, ??????? and a ‘?’??? ?? ???’ shrug of the shoulders to whatever sh*t your ????? life throws your way… well, on a good day!
On other days you learn to have a good sob, phone a friend, or instigate whatever other coping mechanism you have to cope with change.
Continuity has certainly become easier through technology since we first started on our expat journey. Thank goodness for video links where we can share and connect. Every day there are readers across the globe who reach out to say hello, leave a lovely message, or a virtual hug. Thank you if this is you today reading this!
11. Recommended
I can’t wait to share with you some of my top suggestions for things to enjoy, places to go in Thailand.
For all these and more – check out the Little Wandering Wren blog:
COMMUNITY
LIVING
TRAVEL
- Ten of the best Thailand travel experiences
- Best tips for solo female travel in Thailand
- Amazing Expat Travel Thailand
12. Saudade
This is a powerful Portuguese word that doesn’t have a direct translation. Writer Manuel de Melo describes it as “a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy.
I’ll talk about what I’m nostalgic for, from a place or culture.
13. Pleasures
I’m drawn to Thailand’s colour and brightness. I love the vivid orchids, and intricate floral decorations everywhere, along with spicy food that looks too pretty to eat!
I derive great pleasure in the ???? ?? ?????? from the kind Buddhist culture. I enjoy the temples where orange-clad monks chant, the air is full of wafts of sweet incense smells, and gold is found at every turn.
I love the zen that comes with Buddha’s teaching and wisdom & enjoy the never-ending festivals celebrated in Thailand.
I realise now I’m portraying a somewhat old-fashioned notion of Thailand. One of traditional Thai architecture with spirit houses, where elegant ladies demurely dress in Thai silk…
Let’s be clear, this fascination would not be so cherished without the comforts of modern Thailand.
The Thailand that geographically offers an easy transit centre around the region, a Thailand where Bangkok transport works (apart from the traffic jams) and the Wifi is super slick. A Thailand that actually does ancient history really well alongside 5-star luxury.
Tropical Thailand gives me huge pleasure too. The luxurious resorts and fabulous spas and of course a brilliant sunset! The bright sky, warm seas, and a swing on a beautiful beach on some remote island.
Of course, to keep it real, I could easily come up with an equally long list of things that drive me crazy. But I do believe it is important to remember that as I’ve ready said, I’m a guest in a far-off land.
Yoga Kata Rocks
14. Mental Health
It’s normal to have mental health challenges.
Sundae @SundaeBean: ‘Mental Health is like any other part of the body, you need to maintain it. I see it as brain, heart, and soul hygiene.’
What impacts mental health as we live across cultures?
As ?????? our lifestyle is ever-changing. We are constantly faced with new challenges you learn to dig deep into your ????????? ???? ???, you develop skills of ??????????, ??????? ?????????? & ??????? ???????. The best resource in that tool kit? A ????? ?? ?????? and knowing ??? ????? ?????? ? ?????? ????!
?????? ??? ???? ?????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ????. In our transient lives, we know we should be coping, if we don’t, well, it’s easy to disappear off the friendship radar, very few people know us really well...
? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ? ????? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ??? ??????…???! For more on this see my IG post here
PULLING A GEOGRAPHIC
‘You can move a problem but you can’t bury a problem’
Katherine @bad days abroad discusses this further in relation to expat life:
‘Pulling a geographic’ is a term used in drug/alcohol recovery language and refers to one’s subconscious belief that switching locations will solve one’s life problems when the problems are actually rooted in unresolved emotional pain within oneself.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Great recommendations from Simone; from @lifeinspirationfile :
If you’re having a tough day, my advice is: think forward to something good that you can make happen later. This too shall pass.
DO YOU NEED A EXPAT COACH?
I feel if I have my time again I would definitely look to invest in some coaching help to help with transitional issues. You can find a list of EXPAT coaches who have shared their insights in Mayonthemove2021 at the end of this post.
15. Inspired by…
The best part of this challenge is connecting with what others have shared. I’ll pass it on and show some love to what has been loved! Coming to you from a leisurely day reading in a hammock from the beach!
Further resources:
The following have found through #mayonthemove2021 I have valued their contributions:
Catriona: The Frustrated Nester – My 10 best lessons from 10 years of expat life
Emily Expat Parenting Abroad: I help Expat mums not only get the most out of their experience abroad but support them to find meaning in their experience.
Katherine Bad Days Abroad Expat Coach Helping you decide “Should you stay or go?”
Diverse in the city from New York City: Different Experiences. Different Perspectives.
Louise: Thriving Abroad Tips and advice to help you make an informed decision about an international move.
Angelique: Our Expat Life: What is Expat Life about? The ultimate guide about Expat Life.
Alexandra: @Alexandrapaucescu: Third culture Kids
Sundae: Solution-Oriented Coach, Intercultural Strategist, Podcast Host of Nr. 1 rated Expat Happy Hour, Expats on Purpose Facebook Group
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Thank you for joining me here today and feel free to ask any questions in the comments.
Thanks to #mayonthemove2021 and our co-hosts Catriona at The Frustrated Nester and Margarita of Diverse in the City for their prompts which inspired this original post. [Updated March 2022]
